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Lost in the Desert

  • I write to consume space on my hard drive much like the whittler who carves only to produce wood chips. My payback will come when my tequila soaked brain cells actually produce something of interest to someone … anyone and maybe even evoke a grin, a sigh or an out-and-out giggle. Bob


Personal Profile

A worn-out, mentally abused business executive in the early days of his long anticipated retirement. A wantabe golfer, runner, hiker, historian, apprentice writer and a slave to his wife’s whims and seemingly endless list of household chores. Excels at grand-parenting, booze consumption, and falling asleep midway through movies.

Personal & Professional History

Boy 1942-1956

In this early part of my life I was: protracted labor pains for my nineteen year-old mom, a toe-headed baby, the first child of recently married parents, a grandson of wonderful grandparents, a western Nebraskan, a big brother to a baby sister, a member of a big, close-knit family, a really good student, my dog Buster’s best friend, a Cub Scout, a marbles champion, a baptized Christian, a bicyclist, an all-star little leaguer, recognized for five years of absent-free Sunday School attendance, a sprinter, a honor student, a municipal swimming pool season ticket holder, a Brooklyn Dodger fan, an Omaha World Herald carrier and their top new subscription salesman, a Jr. High School student council member, a Star Boy Scout, an apprentice cowboy with budding roping, branding, dehorning and castration skills, a door-to-door Spudnut salesman, a crystal-set builder and user, a blue-ribbon pole vaulter, my scout troop’s senior patrol leader, a fisherman, an avid Boy’s Life subscriber, a soon-to-be-good ping pong player, Gering Jr. High’s left halfback, a greeting card salesman, a pop-sickle wrapper redeemer, and a stamp collector.

Teenager 1956-1960

Later I became: a Coloradoan, a Grand Lake summer resort worker, a fly fisherman, Mapleton’s sophomore class vice president, a very good trout fisherman, a skinny freshman varsity halfback, an Explorer Scout, a King Supers bag-boy, the district pole-vault champion, a rock and roller, a four-year varsity letterman, a pheasant hunter, a greaser, the yearbook art editor, a big Elvis fan, the proud owner of a ‘39 Ford, a gas station attendant, a hot rodder, the owner of a ‘48 Ford club coupe and later a hot ‘49 Merc, a smoker, a stumbling jitterbugger, Linda’s steady boyfriend, a high school dropout, an art school student, assistant artist and scene painter for Channel 2, and a beatnik wantabe.

Marine 1960-1965

Shortly after I became: a Marine recruit, a Californian, a United States Marine, tattooed, Linda’s husband, an expert marksman, a father of a baby girl, an antiaircraft crewman, a pretty good open-desert jeep driver, a Floridian, a full-time student, an avionics technician, an evening community college student, a Chubby Checker like twister, a father of two beautiful girls, a body surfer and sun tanner, a corporal, a sky diver, and finally an ex Marine.

Student, Technician, and Engineer 1965-1969

After my discharge I became; a full-time college student, a motorcycle rider, an electronics technician and systems engineer, the owner of a brand new VW Beatle donned with daisy decals, a conservative Republican, a field service engineer, a temporary Texan, a nerd with a pocket protector and a clip-on necktie, an expert in the installation, repair, and maintenance of analog computers, a really poor student of the frug, the swim, and the hully-gully, holder of a Secret Security Clearance, an engineer in the guidance and control lab at NASA’s Manned Spacecraft Center, a deep-sea fisherman, a Laguna Beach, CA resident, and finally the father of a son.

Sales and Marketing Engineer/Manager 1969-1982

I soon gravitated to: a computer sales engineer, a grieving grandson, a Los Angelino, a home owner, a branch sales manager, a Massachusetts-an, a frequent business traveler, an American Express card carrier, a pipe smoker and collector, a product marketing manager, a Harvard Business School executive student, a world traveler, a marketing manager, a permanent resident of Geneva, Switzerland, the owner of an Mercedes SL, an expatriate, a wine aficionado, a little-league coach, an international businessman, a photographer, the owner of a Beemer, a product line manager, a group manager, the father of a high school graduate, and an European culture snob.

Corporate Executive 1982-2005

With a move I became: a New Jersey-an, a Sr. Vice President, a member of the Medford Village Country Club, an American samurai, a beginner golfer, a Jersey shore shoebie, a Silicon Valley start-up executive, an Oregonian, a division general manager, a father of a college graduate, a grieving son, the father of the bride, a Volksmarcher, a member of another country club, a better golfer, the father of another bride, a grandfather, the proud leaser of a Lexus, a blistered backpacker, an Executive Vice President, a very rich man on paper, a Japanophile, the owner of a vacation home in the sun on a golf course, a runner, a Pennsylvanian, a vice president of a Fortune 500 company, a fit 172 pounds, a blues music fan, a resident of Washington DC, a Kansan, disappointed with the Republican party, a managing director, unemployed, a full time Arizonan, a business development manager, a swimming pool maintenance guy, a management consultant, a Blues Society member, a mountain biker, and a coronary artery disease patient.

Geezer 2005-Present

I’ve recently become: retired, an apartment house tenant, overweight, a drunk, a New Mexican, the owner of yet another new house, a creative writing student, an author of humorous short stories, a pauper, Medicare insured, a wantabe runner, a desert landscaper, the recipient of a third stent, a grandfather of a college freshman, a pretty good interior-room painter, a Sudoku expert, an fledgling interpreter of ancient petroglyphs, a member of two writing groups, a part-time associate at the local winery’s tasting room, a grandfather of two college students, recipient of stents four, five and six, a bit player in two community theater productions, a member of Shakespeare On Tap, the grandfather of two college graduates, a published author, a performer of my own work in a musical/comedy revue, an author of ten books including six novels, two family biographies, a collection of short stories, and an anthology of humorous pieces, and a featured speaker in the Marshall Memorial Library Speaker Series, a lecturer at the Deming Luna Mimbres Museum, Rockhound State Park, and the Columbus Historical Society. The husband of a breast cancer survivor. Played three bit parts in a local theater production. Published sixteen books for friends and clients.

More to come.


Major Coursework

Roosevelt Elementary School, Scottsbluff, NE
McKinley Elementary School, Gering, NE
Lincoln Elementary School, Gering, NE
Gering Junior High School, Gering, NE
Mapleton High School, Denver, CO
Colorado Institute of Art, Denver, CO
U.S. Armed Forces Institute, GED
Orange Coast College, Costa Mesa, CA
Santa Ana College, Santa Ana, CA
American River Junior College, Sacramento, CA
California State University, Fullerton, CA
Harvard Graduate School of Business Administration, Boston, MA

Other Coursework

Bible Studies, Central Church of Christ, Gering, NE
Swimming Lessons, Gering Public Pool, Gering, NE
Order of the Arrow, Boy Scout Camp, Laramie Peak, WY
Marine Corps Recruit training, MCRD San Diego, CA
USMC Infantry Training, Camp Pendleton, CA
Marine Corps Institute, Correspondence Course - Introduction to Personnel Administration
Marine Corps Institute, Correspondence Course - Personnel Accounting
Hawk Missile Familiarization, MCB 29 Palms, CA
Catechism, Base Chapel, MCB 29 Palms, CA
Aircraft Electrician A School, NAS Jacksonville, FL
ASN-19 Navigational Computer, MCAS El Toro, CA
Maintenance of the ASN-19 Navigational Computer, MCAS El Toro, CA
Transistor Fundamentals, MCAS El Toro, CA
NC-10A MEPP Maintenance, MCAS Beaufort, SC
Programming in Symbol/Metasymbol on the SDS Sigma 5 Computer, Anaheim, CA
Life Drawing, San Diego Evening College, San Diego, CA
The New DEC Sales Engineer Training Course, Maynard, MA
Macro 11, Assembly Language Programming, Maynard, MA
Berlitz, Conversational French, Wellesley, MA
In Search of Excellence with Tom Peters, Dartmouth College, Hanover, NH
Strategic Planning with Arnaldo Hax of MIT Sloan School, Marlboro, MA
Designing in Silicon with Carver Mead of Caltech, Boston, MA
Golf Lessons – Medford Village Country Club, Medford, NJ
Lotus Notes, Mt. Laurel, NJ
Total Quality Management, Beaverton, OR
Introduction to Cantonese Cooking, Portland Community College, Portland, OR
Familiarization with Japanese Culture and Traditions, Beaverton, OR
Intel Senior Managers Boot Camp, Pajaro Dunes, CA
A Brew Master’s Tour through the World of Beers, Portland Community College, Portland, OR
Arthur Murray’s Ballroom Dancing for people with two left feet, Portland, OR
More Golf Lessons, Portland, OR
Seminar on “Cold Calling for the Faint of Heart”, Bethesda, MD
Seminar on “Never Overcome an Objection Again”, Phoenix, AZ
HIPAA Privacy and Security Provisions, Phoenix, AZ
Arizona, Safe Drivers Program for those photographed running red lights, Phoenix, AZ
Creative Writing, the Memoir, Doña Ana Community College, Deming, NM
New Mexico Alcohol Server Training Program, Deming, NM
Creative Writing, the Elements of Style, Doña Ana Community College, Deming, NM
Really, Truly Beginning Spanish, Doña Ana Community College, Deming, NM
Creative Writing, Deming, NM
Story, Deming, NM
Joy of Writing, Deming, NM


I’ve lost track of all of my old supervisors and other professional references; some have died or grown too senile to remember any of my good qualities. Most don’t care enough about this sort of thing to be of much help anyway. All of my new acquaintances and could-be references are unreliable old retired guys that lie a lot, (mostly about their golf scores and the size of the one that got away), and should not to be trusted. So there!